PLEASE ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE MYSELF, I'M A MAN OF WEALTH AND TASTE

“It affects virtually nobody.”  So said Donald Trump about a week ago.  He’s a real nowhere man, so maybe he was just being modest.  Or clueless.  My money is on clueless.

As Trump’s enablers (including his doctors!) continue to lie to the public, they seem to be in the midst of a re-enactment of Edgar Alan Poe’s “Masque of the Red Death,” in which a prince and his assembled nobles try to cheat death by throwing an elaborate party.   Or maybe they’re re-enacting Luis Bunuel’s “The Exterminating Angel.”  Or for you youngsters, think of the Eagles’ “you can check out any time you like, but you can never leave,” or Bill Murray in “Groundhog Day,” with added plague.    

In other words, we’ve seen this before, but only in fantastical fiction.  Brace yourself, because now, in the words of the immortal Rod Serling, “That's a signpost up ahead: your next stop: the Twilight Zone!”

Trump’s doctor straight up lied to the press on Saturday.  He admitted it on Sunday.  He probably lied again Sunday, of course.  We can hope that he’ll continue to provide daily updates on which portions of his narrative are no longer operative.  But it’s clear that the Trump “brain trust” (and I use both words as loosely as possible) is dictating what medical professionals release to the public.

I can kind of understand why a generic Republican politician would continue to parrot the Trump line at this point.  Too late to stop now, in for a penny, in for a pound, let’s embrace the sunk cost fallacy. 

But why would a doctor – a professional physician with a couple of decades of practice ahead of him – make an obvious fool of himself in public as Sean Conley is doing, not to mention Ronnie Jackson before him, and Harold Bornstein before that?  The only explanation I can think of is Rick Wilson’s observation that everything Trump touches, dies.  That used to be a metaphor, but it’s becoming more literal every day.

Conley offered an interesting excuse:  "I didn't want to give any information that might steer the course of illness in the other direction.”  What information might Conley have that might alter the course of the illness?  I mean, the virus doesn’t give a damn what Conley says, or what Trump says, or (for that matter) what I say.  Viruses gonna virus. 

I assume Conley’s statement was a tacit admission that his patient was in a fragile psychological state, so he was trying to keep things as upbeat as possible.  But happy talk doesn’t cut it when your patient is the President of the United States, even if he’s the worst one in history, and is about to be voted out of office.  Patients deserve a reasonable amount of privacy, and if Trump were a private citizen, Sean Conley wouldn’t have to tell us a damn thing.  But I’m a taxpayer, and I’m paying Trump’s salary – not to mention his effing hospital bills.  I’m entitled to an honest accounting of how my tax money has been spent.

Conley’s problem is that the course of treatment he describes appears to indicate that Trump is (or at least was) sicker than all the happy talk would suggest.  Dexamethasone, for instance, is a steroid with major side effects, including mood swings and general irritability (with Trump, how could you tell?)  It’s basically the nuclear option in treating COVID-19.  Maybe it was one of those “abundance of caution” things, but look:  the dude is sick.

Now if the issue were only Donald Trump’s health, we might say, so what?  What goes around comes around.  But Trump’s health isn’t the only – or even the most important – issue.  And sure, let’s disregard the health of Trump’s minions.  His victims, as of this writing, include Mike Lee, Kellyanne Conway, Chris Christie, Melania Trump, Hope Hicks, Ronna “Romney” McDaniel, Thom Tillis, Bill Stepien, Kayleigh McEnany, plus an unknown number of Secret Servicemen, housekeeping crew, and other regular folks who were forced to work in close proximity to the Super Spreader In Chief. 

Since Team Trump steadfastly refuses to even discuss the timeline of Hicks’ and Trump’s positive COVID
 tests, I think it’s safe to assume that the Trump campaign knew that something was wrong by last Tuesday.  They had agreed to be tested upon arrival at the debate, and to have their guests wear masks.  Guess what?  The showed up late to the debate, didn’t get tested, and refused to wear masks.  Maybe they didn’t have confirmation that they were contagious, but they certainly knew they were putting others at risk.  Did they give a fuck?  Reader, they did not.

Perhaps we can take solace in irony, since it looks more and more  as though the party they threw to introduce the women the were pleased to call “the Infamous ACB” – Amy Coney Barrett, the pretender to the throne of Ruth Bader Ginsburg.  Barrett may yet be confirmed, but she’ll have to climb over a mountain of corpses to claim her seat.

Republicans talk about running government like a business.  Any business that was at the epicenter of a major COVID outbreak like the White House has been, would shut down for as long as it took to guarantee a safe workplace.  Instead, Trump is running the government like he runs his own businesses – steal what you can and sell the rest off for parts. 

A month to go.  Eyes on the prize.