IT'S A RESTLESS HUNGRY FEELIN' THAT DON'T MEAN NO ONE NO GOOD

This morning, my wife reminded me that we’d been scheduled to spend today on a series of planes, flying home from Amsterdam.  Amsterdam to London, London to Chicago (business class for the transatlantic portion of the trip, doggone it), and Chicago to Tucson, arriving home just before midnight.  

We never made it to Amsterdam, of course; and in theory, we’ll either get rescheduled or get a refund.  But there’s no predicting the wave of bankruptcies and bailouts coming down the pike, so who knows?  Hey, I’m alive, and virus-free as far as I know.  I’m not complaining.  Well, maybe a little.

But some folks are complaining a lot.  Egged on by people who know better, armed thugs now demand that governors rescind pandemic closure orders.  They seem to believe if the governor would only give the word, things would magically return to normal.  Donald Trump seems to think he possesses similar powers, although he’s been reluctant to use them. 

I’m here to help.  There is one thing Donald Trump could say that would jump-start the economy immediately: “I quit.”

Trump was briefed on the virus in November, but daily intelligence briefings are boring, so he ignored them.  When spin didn’t solve the problem, Trump was stuck without a Plan B.  Or at least a Plan B that involved Trump using some of that unfettered authority he claims to have.  Instead of “the buck stops here,” the buck now stops in 50 different places.  And then, instead of getting out of the governors’ way, Trump and his surrogates muddied the waters by touting bogus cures, withholding supplies, and claiming that the governors inflated the numbers of COVID-19 fatalities. 

That was the bat signal that people further down the Republican food chain were waiting for.  Astroturf demonstrations, ostensibly focused on the necessity of re-opening the economy, sprang up overnight.  Maybe it’s just me, but as long as these protests are led by yahoos with confederate flags, swastikas, and assault rifles, I’m going to believe that their top priorities might not be economic.

Still, it’s important to separate the bluster of semi-professional Deplorables from the concerns of millions of regular folks who just want their lives back.  I’m one of those.  

I’m retired, so I don’t have a job to go back to.  But the investments that were supposed to allow us to live comfortably into our 90s have – at least for the moment – taken a hit.  We own our home, so we don’t have to worry about making mortgage payments.  But we still pay rent on a yoga studio that’s been standing empty for nearly two months; the income stream has stopped, but our rent and utility payments have not.  I need a haircut.  I miss my gym and my favorite restaurants.  I’d like to spend time with my friends.

All this is to say that I want this to be over with.  I’m a lot better off than many folks are, and I’m grateful.  But I’d love to resume some semblance of my pre-virus life.

And having said that, I don’t want to die, either.  Or to be inadvertently responsible for someone else’s death. 

Arizona’s governor has begun to lift restrictions, and I assume Tucson’s mayor will follow suit before long.  I have also read that – outside the early hotspots which are now declining – the rate of infection is not falling, and that June could turn into a bloodbath.  I hope those projections are wrong.  I’d love it if stores can reopen soon, and schools can reopen in the fall.  But my plan is to let others test the waters before I jump into the deep end of the pool.  If there are sharks in the water, I’d just as soon let Republicans find out first.