LATER ON WE'LL CONSPIRE, AS WE SIT BY THE FIRE

I came of age during the golden age of conspiracy theories.  I refer, of course, to the period between November 22, 1963, and August 9, 1974, which encompassed the assassinations of two Kennedys, of Martin Luther King, Jr.; the attempted assassination of George Wallace; the Pentagon Papers; and the Watergate scandal.   

Watergate wasn’t the last conspiracy, of course.  Ronald Reagan gave us the Iran-Contra scandal. Bill Clinton got a blowjob from Monica Lewinsky.  George W. Bush, who became president thanks to a corrupt Supreme Court decision, ignored warnings about the September 11 attacks, and then launched an unnecessary war based on Iraq’s non-existent weapons of mass destruction. 

It is an article of faith among Republicans that the blowjob was the worst of these scandals. 

The Obama years were scandal free, if not mistake-free.  OMG, Benghazi, and Hillary’s email servers.  And then, Russia elected one of its puppets as our president. 

Although he’s trying to deny it now, the Russian puppet was pals with Jeffrey Epstein.  We know this because he said so.  And if that’s not enough, there’s also video evidence of Trump and Epstein partying with young women.  Once Epstein turned into box office poison, he became persona non grata in Trumplandia, but that doesn’t negate the fact that the two men were buddies for years.

There is also documentary evidence of Bill and Hillary Clinton associating with Epstein.  No one disputes that.  The difference between Epstein-Clinton and Epstein-Trump is that only the latter relationship was unambiguously based on a shared predilection for having sex with young girls.  And it was Donald Trump, not Bill Clinton, who rewarded Alexander Acosta, the author of the corrupt Epstein plea deal in Florida, with a Cabinet appointment. 

The Clintons were happy to take Epstein’s money, but I’ve seen no evidence – so far – that either Bill or Hillary were involved in Epstein’s pedophilia.  Of course, we don’t know all the evidence.  A few weeks ago, the FBI seized a cache of photographs and videos from Epstein’s Manhattan townhouse.  Who knows what’s on them?  Presumably we’ll find out eventually.  I’ll wait for the evidence to come out, and I’m willing to let the chips fall where they may. 

But Clinton haters need to understand that when Jeffrey Epstein died, however he died, he was in the custody of the U.S. Bureau of Prisons, under the jurisdiction of the U.S. Department of Justice, led by Attorney General William Barr, who was appointed by Donald Trump.  If there was any foul play, it happened on the Trump Administration’s watch.   

And now, Epstein is dead, apparently by his own hand.  He claimed he was being extorted and harassed by his fellow inmates, which is believable.  Current reporting suggests that Epstein and his lawyers persuaded prison authorities to take him off suicide watch. 

It strikes me as entirely plausible that Epstein knew the jig was up, and talked his way out of intensive surveillance in order to kill himself without interference.

That’s not the only possibility, of course.  Why was America’s most notorious prisoner not under more intensive scrutiny?  Why was his cellmate transferred out?  Who signed off on those decisions, and why?  Who were the guards who failed to check in on Epstein as scheduled?  What’s their excuse?  Does video surveillance indicate any unusual activity in Epstein’s cell, or nearby? 

The conspiracy theory that currently makes the most sense to me is that prison authorities knew very well that Epstein was suicidal, and helped create conditions which would allow Epstein to kill himself.  But remember – those prison authorities were in Donald Trump’s chain of command.  If there was an official decision, either to murder Epstein or to allow him space to commit suicide, that decision was made by Trump or someone reporting to Trump.

Honestly, I’d love to believe that Epstein was murdered in his cell.  But I can’t construct a believable scenario for it.  Any number of powerful men must have wanted him dead.  I just can’t figure out how they might have done it. 

Trump and his enablers are trying to blame Hillary Clinton.  Right, the same Hillary Clinton who was too frail to be president in 2016?  But who in 2019 was somehow able to penetrate a maximum-security prison and kill the most notorious inmate in America, and then get away without leaving a trace?  Hillary the Ninja is going to be a tough sell – at least outside the fever swamps of MAGA-Land.

Or maybe someone bribed a guard?  Or bribed an inmate?  I guess.  Maybe.  Theoretically possible.  But plausible?  Likely?  I’m not there yet.

If we learn that multiple surveillance cameras malfunctioned, that would be kind of suspicious.  If evidence seized from Epstein’s Manhattan mansion mysteriously disappears, that would be kind of a red flag.  If William Barr says that everything was kosher, just move along, there’s nothing to see here?  Then we’d know that Epstein was murdered to protect wealthy pedophiles.  That’s the most likely outcome, in my view.  Welcome to 2019. 

As the saying goes, paranoia strikes deep.  But just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they aren’t out to get you.